Anxiety. Let’s tackle this bastard (because that’s what it is). Almost EVERY high schooler goes through anxiety and/or depression at some point. It can be temporary, or it can be more permanent. Bless your heart if you are an adult and deal with these demons. And we all deal with it differently. Medically, it’s all the same. It’s a diagnosis. Mentally, it’s totally different for everyone. I can’t speak for everyone else, so I’ll speak from experience.
Today I walked in my home and just looked at all the things I had to do. Although I’m not the only one who lives here, I am the only one who sees cleaning as an everyday job.
*Dishes in sink
*Sweep Kitchen, living room, steps, and top floor
I worked this morning. I came home around 6pm absolutely starving! It’s Friday so I was excited for a date night, but due to my husband’s new schedule he’d just woken up. I can’t cook if the dishes aren’t done. So coming home from a long day, hungry, and seeing everything I need to do is like a trigger for me. I went off. I get these agitated anger fits that I take out on my husband (poor guy). Once I start, it’s hard to calm down until everything is finished. This is my anxiety. If I don’t get angry, I cry. Today I did both. Taking a deep breath is easier said than done. However, I have only had one little “spell” in the last two weeks. One day at a time, right?
Some people have panic attacks, some people pass out, and some people just give up. I get sweaty, pee A LOT, have chest pains, and get agitated. I’d consider my anxiety mild. All this time I thought I had many different medical conditions….but I’m thinking that anxiety has taken more of a toll on my body than I care to admit. The worst is my agitation. I threw a rubber spatula in my sink once because the cinnamon buns weren’t done. Driving in unknown places triggers my agitation. Put me in a situation where I need to step up and I’ll do it. When I’m in the comfort of my own home, I’m a beautiful disaster.
To those who understand, we need to be lifting one another up. To those who don’t quite understand, maybe this post will help. Certain things effect certain people in different ways. Some handle it well, some need extra help handling it. Blogging is a way for me to express what’s on my mind. Find your niche. Find your friends. Find your comfort zone. Understand your triggers. Stay healthy.